sermon excerpts: "All in the Family"

It is no surprise that the traditional family was not for the Son of God. Society has moved on from the traditional and legalistic notion that marriage was a business transaction, and a means of tracking inheritance processes. The woman as property of one man, her father, becomes the property of another man, her new husband. So when people bemoan the lack of respect we have for traditional marriage, I hold back a chuckle.

The cultural expectations in the time of Mary and Joseph put them in a difficult position, what with the news that she is pregnant with the Holy Spirit’s baby. Joseph could have reacted in so many different ways. He could have gone to Mary and called everything off, pressed charges, had her punished, even put to death even for adultery, according to the laws of the Bible. He could have gone to Mary’s father and demanded that they renegotiate the bride price because she’s damaged goods.

The fact that he didn’t do any of these things, that he paid attention to his dream, signals that he was a man of faith and trust. Joseph was convinced that he was a better person when he was with Mary, that they would be able to become a family. And in the eyes of the public, he would become a bit of a joke – the guy who believed his fiancée when she said she got pregnant by God!

In the face of community suspicion and disapproval, Joseph goes ahead and marries her anyway. They create a family, and certainly not one that would be “normal” or “traditional” by any means. He would love and raise the child of Mary with as much care and dedication as if the baby was his own.

We have a glimpse of what this might have been like as our society has seen parenting become more complex with blended families, shared custody and the legal right for a child to have more than 2 parents. Maybe Joseph realizes that families are messy complicated entities with lives of their own. Joseph chose to be with Mary and create a family with her, regardless of how that happened. It was not the legally proper thing to do, but it was the right thing to do.

On this day of love, we uplift the value of gritty, real-life love that accepts imperfection and flaws. Of course it is an unfortunate caveat of our world that I must also say in the very next breath that any situation that is filled with abuse, fear and intimidation is not love and should not be presented as such. True family and community life are meant to nurture and support one another, to work for the best of everyone involved.

Still, as unconventional and unique our lives and relationships and families may be, we do all share one truth, a truth found in Christ’s name. Emmanuel is God with us. God is with us in the families that are created for us and that we create for ourselves. We find God within the persons closest to us, even within ourselves. That is the promise of Christ: that the prophecies are fulfilled leaving us free to live in the spirit of God’s laws, rather than the literal, translated, and interpreted letter of the law.

Ideally, we offer the benefit of the doubt, unconditional support and loyalty, because we believe that God is with us, and God is within those around us. Living in relationship isn’t always easy, it may not seem worth it sometimes, but the mystery of compassion, care and prayer for one another lends strength, purpose and hope to our days and nights. God’s love and care surrounds us, is with us. Theologians call it “incarnation”; I call it being part of the greater human family.