Away at Princeton

I'm going to be away this week for Study Leave, attending a course at Princeton Theological Seminary focussing on mission work and how that might look in light of our current social reality.

While I am away, Rev. Amanda Birchall is available for any pastoral care emergencies that might arise. I can be reached by email and if you leave a message on my cellphone voicemail, I'll return your call, as I'm able.

Office hours at Trinity will occur as usual and a guest speaker will lead worship on Sunday, May 4.

I'll see you when I get back,
Kenji

sermon excerpts: "Sex & the Spirit"

(Romans 8: 5-17; John 16: 5-16)
... We live in a world where sex can, and does, occur without any engagement of the spirit. Sex has often become reduced to the physical interaction of body parts, a commodity used to make money or attract attention.

While we know that within a healthy sexual relationship, lovemaking is a joyous and intimate act of celebration and surrender, there aren’t many examples upheld in society. Our world is more interested in the tawdry and sordid lives of Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. Is it any wonder that amid all the news about stained blue dresses, internet videos or one-night marriages, that any element of spiritual connection or awareness is missing from sex?

And I’ll pause for a brief moment to define a “healthy sexual relationship”, a term I’ve been using a lot over the last month. It is something developed in great detail by the “Our Whole Lives” curriculum for sexual education by the United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalist churches in the USA. A healthy sexual relationship is: consensual, non-exploitative, mutually pleasurable, safe, developmentally appropriate, respectful and based on mutual expectations and caring.

But are these values in any way spiritual? They are all responsible and reputable, but does this address the question of sex and the spirit? Yes. Almost. Hang on a second.

In the Bible, we read of many instances where sex was a mistake. King David with Bathsheba, Lot’s daughters with their father, Onan with his sister-in-law, each of these had intercourse for the wrong reasons. We couldn’t really say it was love-making because love was not the reason for being together.

In light of this one-sided presentation of sex and sexuality, the writer of Romans tries to blame the body for the failings of the spirit and that one needs to subdue and prevail over the other. Thinking like this has led to the disjointedness that our lives seem to follow. We are so compartmentalized into church and state, rich and poor, male and female, gay and straight, and so on that we forget how connected we actually are to one another.

I do not intend to dismiss the letter the Romans outright; the truth contained in this passage is the notion that spiritual matters are eternal, fleshly concerns will perish. This set of priorities is valuable, it is the separation and the setting one up against another, flesh vs. spirit, that is problematic. Because we cannot change how we react through our bodies, those are natural instincts. So we end up hating ourselves because of our physical reactions.

We know, as people of faith, that our spirit is the most important part of us. Yet it is the most neglected. It is easy to care for our bodies and minds, there are clear strategies and studies about diets, exercise, being left-brained or right-brained, and whatever truth we wish to seek. About the spirit, there are no certain and sure answers to be found. Granted, being spiritual has supplanted being religious and churches are emptier because of traditional ties to conservatism, close-mindedness and being boring.

Yet we are no closer amid all the shelves of new books about spirituality to knowing anything more definitively than what we have in the Bible. In Romans, we learn that the spirit of faith is not one of slavery and fear, but one of adoption, like coming into a new family, into a new understanding and relationship.

The spirit is not some ethereal whitelighted glowing zap of lightning. It’s more earthy than that. It is our guts, our instincts. I’ve heard it said somewhere and I can’t recall who said it or in what context, but the comment was that our instincts are the oldest part of us, a connection to thousands of years of human experience and existence.

This is the gift of the Holy Spirit, given to us by Christ. And so we connect the oldest part of our identity to the one who gave us life and identity in the first place.

The spirit needs room to work. Jesus said himself that unless he departed (through crucifixion, resurrection and ascension) the Advocate (the Holy Spirit) will not arrive. The spirit will arrive to prove the world wrong about a number of things and Jesus is rather fuzzy in the way he says these things. And I’m not entirely clear on what he meant, nor am I confident that translation from Aramaic to Greek to Latin to English captures what he said.

What is clear is the connection between God, Jesus and this Spirit. In these are found glory and honour. Such connectedness is something to mirror and model in our own lives, not just with our relationships with other people, but within ourselves. All the parts of us that make us who we are, body, mind and spirit interrelated and interact.

Sex, when expressed in a healthy sexual relationship, brings together body mind and spirit. It is a wondrous and mysterious way to explore the integratedness of our being, and of another. On the other hand, sex without love, like acts of charity without love, is demeaning and shallow.

It is a frightening world that we live in. Preteen kids are engaging in oral sex more often and with more people than we like to think. Thanks to Viagra, STD infection rates are on the rise in Florida’s retirement communities. I have heard far too often, in movies, TV and books, if not conversations, the casual attitude, “It’s only sex.” Which is a shame, because it never is only sex.

It is about the integratedness of our being. We are the creative union of body, mind and soul. Sex is an expression, appreciation and exploration of the fullness of who we are. Our spirits can be incredibly damaged by inappropriate sex, harmful silence or inaccurate information. And yet, our spirits can also rejoice, praise and delight in love shared as a valued and treasured partner, equal and honoured.

For this tenuous balance between flesh and spirit, I continue to assert that the church needs to teach more about the joys that a healthy sexual relationship offers to the nurture and growth of an individual, while also giving accurate and caring information about the responsibilities and preciousness of this great gift. Oh God, Oh God, may it be so. Amen.

sermon excerpts: "Sex & the Family"

(Genesis 16: 1-10; John 19: 25-30)
It would appear that the purpose of marriage is to have sex and the purpose of sex is to have children. And it is in this understanding that the family is shown to be an exercise of obligations and status. Rarely is it mentioned in the Bible that a husband loved his wife; more often, duty and propriety are praised.

In the Genesis reading, we have an interesting dynamic of the family power structure. Sarai cannot have children so she entreats her husband Abram to sleep with her slave girl Hagar. He does and Hagar gets pregnant.

Hagar sees this as a sign of her moral superiority and begins to gloat and sneer at her barren mistress Sarai. In these ancient times (and in our so called enlightened modern times too), having children was a direct measure of value and worth.

In response to Hagar’s new attitude, and wounded by God’s insult to her dignity, Sarai mistreats her slave so badly that Hagar runs away. To preserve the social order, the angel of the LORD commanded her to return to her rightful place as the property of another person. There is no story of freedom or liberation here. Instead, it’s a moral lesson of “behave yourself and do as you’re told.” Incidentally, Hagar’s son, named Ishmael, would go on to have many descendants himself from whom comes the Islamic faith.

This little snapshot into a great family’s life and legacy provides a great deal of information about the place of women, the pressure to have children (preferably male), and the expectation that everyone will fall in line with the way things have always been done. It very much was a double standard, skewed in favour of men. As a symbol of power and fortune, a man would take have many wives as a show of how many people he could provide for and support.

The great, wise and noble King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Many of these marriages were of political necessity and convenience, in order to secure economic or political treaties with neighbouring countries. Still, that’s 1000 women with whom he was legally, and biblically, entitled to have sex with. I’m very rarely called conservative, but that seems a bit excessive.

So when I hear the complaints and anxiety about the loss of the traditional understanding of marriage, I think of Solomon and bite my tongue. I’m not sure these opinions have an accurate memory of what is in the biblical tradition. Marriage, in the original sense, was a business transaction. Marriage was the transfer of one man’s property, his daughter, to another man, the new husband. These formalized exchanges ensured a stable inheritance process and kept the peace.

The Bible’s laws have a lot to say about divorce, about the status of widows, instructions that seem quite heavy-handed and judgmental in making sure that society’s rules and regulations were preserved. Family relations and relationships were legislated and strictly defined.

We live in a society where families take on various appearances: blended families, adopted families, foster families. This is to affirm the value and worth every place and situation where people are bonded together by love. Sex had very little to do with it, yet we continue to assign morality and family values to its practice and prevention. Jesus asserts love is the most important ingredient in a family. Not capacity for reproduction or inheritance. ...

The last thing that Jesus did before he died (apart from a prophecy-fulfilling sip of wine) is that he exploded the notion of a typical, nuclear family. He created a new relationship between his mother and one of his disciples. There’s no blood connection or expectation of having children. All that was needed was respect, commitment and love.

We can’t all fit into the cookie-cutter expectations that society has of “normal” people. Our families do not match up with another families; we all have a history, tradition and identity (or lack of them) to make us different and unique. Be we are all deserving of God’s love and acceptance. Jesus was continually reaching out to those who had no connections or support system and offered them healing and care. Is that not also the work of the church family that is here?

sermon excerpts: "Sex & the Bible"

Leviticus 18: 17-20 vs. Song of Songs 7: 6-12...

You really don’t have to read too far into any section of the Bible without finding some inconsistencies and contradictions. This all gives rise to the question, what is the Bible for us? How authoritatively are we supposed to refer to it? Granted we live in a very different society than the time of the Bible writers. Medical, scientific and technological advances have been mind boggling, the scale of economies has skyrocketed and yet, the struggles of humanity remain the same – seeking to find meaning and purpose in life, seeking to fall in love, seeking to be a better person, seeking to make the world a better place.

So in a sense, the Bible is about us. It is the story of humanity, not just one specific race or religious tradition, but about the triumphs and tragedies of women and men of every time and place. We learn how we, as a historic people of faith, have responded to situations that are beyond our control, how we might relate to others who are not the same, how we can repair broken communities.

Yes, the Bible is about us, but most importantly and most uniquely, it tells the full story of Jesus. (Of course, Islam and Judaism share much of the same story but I don’t have time to go into this portion of religious history today). Jesus himself proclaims that he is the one all the scriptures are talking about when they mention a Saviour, a Messiah. It was a bold and powerful statement that made him some enemies, that shaped an entire faith tradition.

In him, the Word of God was alive. Because of him, we’ve added an entire New Testament. He fulfilled the scriptures, he reinterpreted them for a new age. He simplified the many laws and ordinances to a simple concept: love. Love one another and love yourself.

So. Does that love include sex? What did Jesus say? Not much. Which isn’t enough to keep the minds of theologians and writers busy. Did Jesus have sex? There’s nothing in the Bible that says he did, so he must not have. Unless you follow the argument that there’s nothing in the Bible that says he didn’t, so like any ordinary man, he must have.

This is very much what A.J. Jacobs of The Year of Living Biblically found out when he comments, “I became the ultra-fundamentalist. I found that fundamentalists may claim to take the Bible literally, but they actually just pick and choose certain rules to follow. By taking fundamentalism extreme, I found that literalism is not the best way to interpret the Bible.”

We all have choices to make and do we choose a God of love or a God of power? Is the Bible is more descriptive than it is instructive?

When it comes to sex and the Bible, we find much of the commotion is about what not to do. Pretty much every mention of sex in the laws and statutes is negative. Because it speaks of sexual immorality, causing physical or emotional harm, frivolous treatment of another person; it speaks against abuse, incest, disrespect and violence.

What isn’t explicitly mentioned is the wondrous joy and value of expressing love and connection to another person through the blessings of a healthy sexual relationship. By concentrating on the negatives which are easier to identify and describe, the positives are neglected, taken for granted. Sex in the Bible has never had a balanced presentation. In the grand battle of Leviticus versus Song of Songs, both sides have merit and value. The biblical message on sex is to express love in a way that is responsible and accountable.

When we profess our faith, when we gather in community, when we pray, or feast or make love, we are living into the truth of what the Bible is about: God’s holy word of life and love revealed to humanity, through humanity. We are not the Christ who stood up in the Temple and proclaimed the fulfillment of scripture. But we are seekers of his message and truth, we can stand up and proclaim our belief in him. In this, we are not alone. Thanks be to God. Amen.

Down East

I'm off to a national meeting for the Year of Sabbath campaign that is presently underway through the Youth and Young Adult Ministries portfolio of the national church office.

For the next few days I'll be in Nova Scotia, returning on Thursday evening. I should have access to email still and will return messages left on the cellphone voicemail (I won't answer any calls because I'm too cheap to pay the roaming charges - so leave a message and I'll respond).

The Rev. Richard Golden is available for any pastoral care emergencies that might arise. See you when I get back!

sermon excerpts: "Sex & the Church"

(Luke 6: 37-42, Genesis 3: 1-13)
This is one of my soapboxes, a keystone of my ministry: I am compelled to try and undo and speak against the damage the church inflicts against the emotional, spiritual and even physical well-being of people when it comes to sex. How can such an important element of our personality and spirit be ignored or condemned by a church authority that claims to nurture and care for all?

... We’ll begin at the beginning, in the garden of Eden where the serpent tempts Eve and Adam. This is the story of scripture commonly referred to as The Fall. And when we ask, the fall from what? We answer, from grace, from paradise in Eden.

All because humanity wanted to know more, to have answers, to understand what the difference is between good and evil. Is that so wrong and misguided? Regardless, God finds out that Adam and Eve disobeyed and is displeased.

It’s an automatic reaction: Adam points to Eve, Eve points to the snake. The snake points to … well, the snake has no fingers and bears the brunt of humanity’s fall from grace. This is why our life is so hard, because someone else messed up long ago. So we have the common lesson from this scripture: obey God or there’ll be hell to pay.

Underneath all the fuss and fretting is the idea that it is wrong to be naked and that civilized and evolved people have decency, covering their shameful parts with fig leaves and Ralph Lauren. From the very beginning, we are taught to cover up and hide our bodies, ourselves, from each other.

Before knowing the difference between good evil, to be in the Garden of Eden was to not know shame. Adam and Eve were happy to be themselves and to not worry about what is normal, or right, or proper. It was a time of innocence, or ignorance, but it was a time of being close to God.

Reading about Eve and Adam’s reaction to their nakedness has me wondering if clothing a metaphor for hiding ourselves from one another? Not that I’m promoting nudism! Our true selves are covered up with a wardrobe designed to make us look slimmer, trendier, sexier, to project an image of something that we’re not? We rarely get to see and meet the real person behind all the appearances and screens that we hide behind. So maybe “The Fall from Grace” as read in Genesis 3 is a fall from true community and honest relationships, a fall into relying on appearances and judging books by their covers.

In a healthy sexual relationship, there is the mutual sense of intimacy and vulnerability. We expose so much of who we are, not just in a physical, anatomical sense of connecting body parts, but of our souls delighting in one another.

Sex is a natural and essential and wonderful part of our createdness. But because Adam and Eve suddenly feeling that they have to hide themselves from one another, we carry centuries of baggage with us when it comes to sex. We all have our stories, some simple and straightforward, others horrifically tragic, we all have had to make sense of difficult questions and deal with consequences. And under the disproving eyes of church and society, we can feel incredibly alone and unanchored.

So maybe the lesson is to withhold judgment as Jesus so often preached, to look to oneself before digging at the splinter in our neighbour’s eye. Certainly the church could do that. If we, as a church, can’t be forthright and truthful about something as common and universal to the human experience as sex, then how can we expect people to listen to what we have to say about complicated spiritual matters like our purpose in life, the state of our soul or addressing the crises of faith.

Meg Hickling is a stalwart United Church member and a highly praised woman in circles of youth ministry. She is the author of The New Speaking of Sex (Kelowna, BC: Northstone Publishing/Wood Lake Books, 2005). She’s written a chapter that speaks directly to the need of faith and sexuality and I’ll conclude with her words: p. 218 “Why Bother?”

for Apr. 6 - Genesis 3: 1-13

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"

The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "

"You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"

He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"

The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."

Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?"
The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

* * *

What feelings, questions, thoughts and prompts to personal action arise from this scripture? What about hymn suggestions or ideas for Children's Time? Share them as Comments below or in an email, and help shape Sunday's worship service.

In Anticipation

With the seasons of Lent and Easter recently concluded, preparations are underway for the highly-anticipated "Sex & the Church" series. Like sex, here's hoping it doesn't disappoint ... I still haven't figured out exactly what I'm doing (please refrain from the obvious joke!) so the usual practice of posting theme scriptures, etc. will be delayed. After all, good things come to those who wait.