Jesus is on the road, heading towards Jerusalem. As you might recall from a couple weeks ago, he’d instructed 70 (72) of his followers to go into the nearby towns and villages, to prepare his coming, relying only on the hospitality of those that would receive them.
Here we are now, Jesus is visiting with his friends Mary and Martha, accepting their hospitality and kindness. Martha is busy tending to the details, harried and hurrying to see that things are just right. After all, it is her Lord and Saviour that is gracing her humble home. He deserves the best.
Jesus surely would know that meals and lodging don’t magically appear, there’s a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes. If he was any kind of church leader (and actually, he wasn’t because the church came into existence long after this home visit) he’d know how important the work of women is. He doesn’t seem to notice or care.
He criticizes Martha for being so industrious. Or maybe she has her priorities misplaced. It’s a blunt way of Jesus telling her, the housework will always be there, it will never be finished. Take some time now, while you have it, to spend it with people instead of chores. Enjoy the company you have while they’re still here.
In this way, sister Mary has chosen the good thing. She now has the memories and teachings and stories that they’ve shared. We all know how quickly time passes, (how did we get halfway through July?), and how often do people wish they had picked more flowers, spent more time with family and friends?
So, good for Mary; she got it right. It seems rather unlike Jesus to wade into a family feud and take one side against another. It’s out of character for him to choose between two friends. Usually he’s more gracious and giving, if not diplomatic.
Perhaps the point is that busy and active Martha shouldn’t have tried to get Jesus on her side. Would it not have been more appropriate to speak directly with her sister about the issue? Although, I warrant it was a conversation that they’d had many times before so maybe Martha thought there was no point in retreading an already well-worn conversation. She appeals to an authority and is found to be at fault – adding insult to injury!
Martha was trying to make Mary into something she wasn’t by publicly coercing her. It’s something as parents that we try not to do to our children, but it happens despite ourselves (or more truthfully, because of ourselves). We project ideals and characteristics that we think our children or friends or siblings or co-workers should have. Then we get upset when those traits are not exhibited, when the other person as the nerve to be who they are and it’s not what we think they should be!
So it’s an enormous act of trust that we allow our children to grow up to be who they are and not who we think they should be. This does not mean that we don’t offer words of suggestion or advice to family and friends when we think they need to hear our viewpoint. We just need to remember that we cannot change someone else; profound and authentic change needs to come from within.
It would be nice if Mary helped out her sister, in the same way the church needs to be active and engaged in the needs of the household. But it is up to Mary to make that choice, not Martha, not Jesus, and for that moment she has chosen the better way.
The world and the community, the coming kingdom of God, needs both Marys and Marthas, contemplative be-ers and initiative do-ers. But above all else, God wants us to be us, our best selves, and that will be the better part, the right thing.
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